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Strap-on requests have suddenly jumped to one of the most popular requests.  Not that I’m complaining, I’m more than happy to enter and fill you.  After all the orgasms that can be attained with the aid of a strap-on can be uniquely powerful and deep.  Add that to the vulnerability of being taken it’s a win, win.

Just call me the strap-on Queen! lol

I should point out that I do insist on a full and proper internal clean-out before I go anywhere near your anus.  This is not a case of a bit of a squirt of water in the shower, a full internal clean is required.

If you aren’t sure what to do, don’t worry, I will help you through this as part of your strap-on experience.

I’ve had the pleasure of taking quite a few virgin bottoms recently.  Such good fun, but slowly does it to allow your body to hone into the fabulous sensations.  The newbies will be at the level of a more experienced kinkster in no time, provided they persevere and continue under the tutelage of experienced dommes.

The psychology of being taken by a strap-on is fascinating.  Why do you enjoy it so much?

Perhaps it is the vulnerability of the total power exchange?

Or maybe, the aspect of taboo, never to be spoken about but greatly enjoyed?

Possibly, it’s all about the sensations, the full-bodied strength of your pleasure?

Or could it be an item on your bucket list that you want to pop a tick next to?

Whatever your reason, do it right with someone who knows what they are doing.

Ms Birch

Lady Amelia Birch

After a summer of very little opportunity of sessioning I’m pleased to say I’m back but…

Why I thought a 6am 80s car disco on my return to Hampshire was a good idea is still beyond me.  The intention was that it would keep me focused on my journey, see what I endured just to get back to you, during my unplanned/emergency 500+ mile road trip.  I will admit by 7am, despite appreciating some long-forgotten classics I’d had my fill of nostalgia.

Fortunately, my return heralded a dear friend stepping into the breach and realigning my chakras with a welcome Reiki.  Bizarrely, from not knowing any Reiki healers my friendship circle is brimming with them.  Not a complaint as, when life commitments allow, we exchange therapies.

So, I’m back and rebalanced – tick

Dungeon reassembled – tick

Outfits dusted off – tick

Wicked imagination in gear and ready to go – tick

So why am I in need of some serious INSPIRATION?

I’m not going to let this blog become a general moan as I’ve had a very productive weekend and am in a positive mindset.  Let’s just leave it at; the quality of lots of contacts I received is well below par…

Thank goodness for the luvlies who, I’ve seen and/or booked in, have evolved beyond neanderthal.  Best make that a bit clearer as I really don’t want to cause offence, the luvlies are definitely homo sapiens and belong to the select but endangered genre referred to as “true gentlemen”.

Prior to my return I was naively looking forward to having fun and flexing my deviant imagination on you as your heart raced and your mind became lost in an unfathomable turmoil while I wove my wicked spell.  I would teasingly mock you while you attempted but fail to tolerate the delicious torments of pleasure and mind f**k imposed on you.  What can I say I adore the mind play aspect of both domination and massage when with a receptive gentleman.  No, it doesn’t work with everyone, it all depends on our unique dynamic.

So, here’s to a week where my VaVaVoom turns back up to max and my energy and allure is appreciated.

Just putting this out there, I don’t sit around waiting for you to contact me, I’m a busy lady and have other work commitments too.  If you mess with my valuable time and/or patience I don’t give second chances.

I’m very much looking forward to some special sessions this week.  The challenge is, can you inspire me more than them?

Ms Birch x

Hi All

I’ve been remiss and not kept you all up to date with goings on in my wonderful world of debauchery, far too many to detail in this blog.

Just a quick note to let you know my availability is limited over the summer but by no means does that stop the fun.  It just means you need to be that little more organised to enjoy a session or 2 with me.

I will say that the sessions that I have enjoyed over the last couple of weeks have been exceptionally good so let’s keep that going.

I will be about:

• Friday, 9^th August ~ between 11am and 2pm; and
• Tuesday, 20^th ~ Friday, 23^rd August, I have some availability left between 11am and 3pm.

All will be back to normal from Monday 2^nd September and my dungeon equipment reassembled during the first week of September

Normal is as follows, but with a minimum of 24 hours’ notice and of course a bank transfer deposit to secure is required:

Tuesday between 10am and 6pm (ad hoc until 9pm)

Thursday between 10am and 9pm

Friday between 10am and 9pm

Saturday, ad hoc afternoon/early evening

Sunday, best to contact me with plenty of notice

Don’t forget, to be taken seriously, in your first email you need to let me have the following information in a polite and well written email, show me you didn’t waste taxpayers money by tossing it off at school:

• To show me you have read my website you will use the correct salutation when emailing me, clue it’s not “Ms Birch” or “Mistress”!
• The date, time and duration you wish to book
• Your likes, a brief paragraph will suffice
• Your hard boundaries, a brief paragraph
• A brief paragraph about you including your age and health status and of course what you wish to get out of your session
• Obviously shown me the courtesy of signing off your email using a name

If we are able to match diaries and the activities/scenario appeal to me we will speak on the phone.  If we are both happy to proceed you then pay across your deposit within an hour of speaking to me to secure your place in my diary.

On the day you contact me as arranged and arrival details are provided.

I will look forward to receiving your emails.

More blogs to follow with important information, once I get the time to compose them.

Enjoy your summer.

Ms Birch

My fabulous Chambers!

Happy New Year!

It’s only another day but it’s symbolic of new hope, new starts and kickstarting a new attitude and start to drink in the life of 2024.

Personally I don’t bother with new year resolutions, if I really want to do something I do it then and there, why wait until 1st January? The gyms are going to be so full of half-hearted good intentions to get fit which will have dissipated before the end of February!

Some of you know I have a passion for health and wellbeing. Once I tried pilates, I was hooked. Within a year I was addicted to various dance and cardio classes and more recently yoga. I’m in the process of arranging new activities, one includes being very graceful and the other a bat and ball lol. Not bad for someone who at the end of 2018, through illness found walking and to be frank functioning difficult. It goes to show that you can turn yourself around from any situation with a little effort and oodles of determination.

It’s been suggested, many a time, that you would appreciate me putting a package together to help you become motivated in getting your health, fitness, shape and confidence back. Obviously, with a punishment if you would be daft enough to attempt to shirk. I have helped a couple of you with this but I’m now ready to pull something more structured together so watch this space.

The techniques I’ve learnt in my dance classes particularly ballet are invaluable in teaching deportment to those of you who are so inclined. If you enjoy cross dressing, you may be pleased to learn I’m going to be offering make-up, pamper experiences for you and possibly photoshoots as a bolt on. Once I’ve worked out the detail, I will let you know.

I’ve now got the dungeon furniture up in my chambers. The picture doesn’t show it very clearly, but the stocks, kneeling bench, St Andrew’s Cross and horse bench are all erected. It can also be jiggled around to have a medical treatment type couch set up in it. I also have a therapy/beauty room that I am in the process of setting up. I just love my new place; it flows so well. I’m not saying there aren’t any teething issues but that’s the case with any property.

Therapy room that be ideal for beauty and pampering sessions, tranquil with plenty of natural light or with the blinds pulled more private.
I am eventually rebranding. Why? I feel I have outgrown Amelia Birch and have some associations with her that I’m ready to let go of and develop further in other avenues. I will let you know what those avenues are once I’m fully trained, or perhaps at the stage I need willing victims to practice on.

Once I’ve rebranded, I will try and make it so you will be directed to the new domain from this site.
I’m also toying with the idea of OnlyFans but not as you would expect. More along the lines of informative and instructional on all those things you are usually unable to ask anyone.

Oh one more particularly important point. I will be formalising some age restriction guidelines for certain activities. I already have a strict policy on this as I’ve found the older some people get the more unrealistic you are about your capabilities; I will just be formalising it for you to consider. I’m not prepared to risk your health and/or my reputation by your unreasonable expectations. I say guidelines as age is a relative concept. Someone who is 65 who has taken his health seriously, enjoys sport and eats healthily could be in a much better condition than someone half his age who does no exercise, eats unhealthily resulting in all manner of hidden health conditions. This will hopefully help you assess for yourself your own capabilities but my decision on the matter will be final. Stood up in the dock saying “but M’Lord he said it would be ok, he wouldn’t die if I did [x, y, z] to him” wouldn’t get me off the hook!

Why the surge forward on my plans now? No, it’s not because it’s New Year, I’ve covered that above. Now that I’m settling into the new place and not losing so much time to travelling, being less exhausted and much more relaxed makes it’s the ideal opportunity for me to move forward with the things I’ve wanted to do for such a long time, but logistics had prevented.

I have a busy January ahead of me so please bear with me. I will put out details as soon as I can. I’m eager to have new experiences in my world of fantasy and domination. I, of course, will not be too busy to include a few sessions in January but you will need to be organised and arrange with plenty of notice. Please note that January is reserved for the more reliable amongst you.

Enjoy what’s left of the Bank Holiday and see you very soon.

Ms Birch x

Remember Christmas will be as good or as bad as YOU make it.  You have the power to adjust your expectations to ensure it is as you wish.

A little tip if you feel your inner diva/demon raising it’s ungrateful head, think of those that really do have problems to deal with.  Running out of stuffing, custard etc or dealing with an annoying distant relative for a day is not going to break you, smile sweetly, hand around the decadent chocolates and ponder on how fortunate you are to be able to moan about first world problems.  If that fails, in a couple of days, send me an email to arrange a session where I will be more than happy to “discuss” your ingratitude.

For those of you doing as I am, spending a day of closing off to the world and relaxing, of course apart from the obligatory message frenzy, thumbs up to you for doing your own thing.  I find it quite empowering.  Not to mention the advantage of not having to constantly explain why I can’t eat or drink what you do and no I can’t have a little cheat as it’s Christmas… no nothing’s changed since I told you the last 10 times other than you’ve drank a lake full of booze, no I really can’t have that… darn digestive disease!  I make no secret that I hate the commercial side of Christmas and the uncontrolled greed.  To me Christmas is about those that are important to you and surely you don’t need a single day in the year, no matter what title you put to that day, to show that they are special, it’s an ongoing fest of appreciation.

Who’s with me on starting a breakaway tradition?  Forget the hype, calm it all down, enjoy a pleasant and tasty, but not overly opulent meal with the people who are important to you, where each person cooks and brings a part of that meal to the table.  If you must give presents it’s something you’ve made yourself; a cake, a picture, a scarf or indeed a plant you’ve grown.  Spend time chatting and valuing the people around the table without the excess and drunkenness which leads to so many problems that could easily be avoided.  You can all see the retailers and marketing teams sending out the hitmen as I type.

I’m going to turn off the phone now for a couple of days, even I need a break from time to time!  I will be back Thursday, 28^th.

Although I doubt my wicked imagination will be taking the opportunity to rest.  I have lots of ideas whirring around my head as to how to have some fun with you in the new year.  I will let you know what I’ve come up with once I’ve had the opportunity to put “pen to paper” or should that now be “fingertips to keyboard”?

Whatever way you spend your Christmas, may it be fabulous and everything you want it to be.  If it isn’t, just remember it’s only a day!

Ms Birch x

I’m pleased and ever so excited to announce that I will be in new premises from 1^st December.  There will be space, lots of it with all my fabulous equipment to hand, what more could I ask for?  I will be able to set up my dungeon furniture and still have… you’ve got it… SPACE!!!

I imagine that for the first few weeks I will do a very good impersonation of someone who’s broken into a random property to session as I search out specific bits of equipment while I try and remember where I’ve put things.  Let’s face it, that will only add to the fun.

I will be based in a quiet residential area with easy, free on-street parking.  It is all very discreet, well as discreet as you are.  If you are the type of person that draws attention to yourself, trying and failing in your impersonation of the invisible man as you creep about, nothing will be discreet while you are about lol.

Don’t worry I’m not heading far this move, I will still be on the outskirts of Southampton to the east with easy access to the M27.

Watch this space for more details when I am ready to welcome you into my lair…

Ms Birch x

Ready to make you pretty…

Now that I’m predominently concentrating on outcalls with occasional incalls, I wanted to reassure you that my fabulous pampering makeovers are still available in the comfort of your own home or even hotel as well as my place.  Of course you can incorporate additional activities just let me know when you book in.  For visits to you, I will arrive casually dressed and change into more appropriate attire for our session once indoors.  I will have a full make-up kit and various wigs, heels with me for you to experiment with depending on your requirements.

I don’t claim to be a professional MUA (make-up artist) but I have been doing my own makeup for decades and that of others for many years.

I cater for all levels from the total novice to the experienced dresser.  Let me know if you wish to include deportment and I will enjoy guiding you on your walk and stance.

Perhaps you would like a light hearted and relaxed photoshoot incorporated into your makeover, I’m happy to do this using your phone to give you assurance of privacy.  However, if you wish me to use my camera you are assured of professionalism and discretion, all pictures will be yours and once they are either downloaded there and then or emailed to you they will be deleted at my end.  Over a decade in the adult industry has taught me a thing or two about posing for shoots and I’m happy to direct you giving you a few tips.  I have an eye for getting that shot for you too.  If you wish to include other activities in our session I recommend the photoshoot is directly after the makeover so you don’t loook deshevelled in your pics.

Once your ready to be made to embrace your feminine side and experience a makeover drop me an email with the essential details such as:

• Your location and type of venue if you wish an outcall to
• The date(s) you know 100% you have a window of opportunity
• The time
• The duration you wish to book
• What you would like to gain from the makeover ie. experiment with a different look or relax and enjoy the experience, perhaps
• A brief list of other activities if any you would like to incorporate into your makeover

Don’t be shy, I welcome approaches from genuine enquiries that provide the above information in their first contact.  However, those that are attempting to waste my time will merely be blocked.

It is worth noticing that yahoo and outlook block lots of adult provider emails including mine, who said the nanny state doesn’t exist?!

It’s best to email me from a different email provider.  If you contact me from these providers I won’t be able to email you back from this domain.  I will attempt to email you from a general email that I will be setting up shortly but there is a chance that the new email may also be rejected depending on how they scan email content.

I will look forward to hearing from you.

Ms Birch x

Hello kinksters

Here’s one for the lovers of pantyhose, strappy sandals and stilettoes.  I truly spoil you sometimes!

Are you just loving my long shapely legs encased in nylon?

I could rave on for ages over the options of pantyhose fetish.  Nude, black, nearly black, patterned, colours, 15 denier, 70 denier, dance tights, toeless tights, full gusset, crotchless…

That’s before I even start to consider the options for those of you that love to slip on a pair of nylons too.

So if you, like me, adore pantyhose book in before the festivities get too much in our way and we can explore further.

Ms Birch x

Memories of being down on the farm

Happy memories of a fabulous weekend away making memories down on the farm.  It was such a wonderful time, amazing company, many giggles and we even managed to take lots of photos which I will start to scatter across my advertising.

Now we are entering winter my Hunter wellies will be used to the max.

On a different note I’m pleased to say my Chambers are now set up in my new place in Southampton.  Fabulous location, close to the train station and just off the M3.  A brilliant Mall which will be perfect for shopping trips.  I’m checking out the eateries and coffee houses for public sessions.  I will update my website with details of my new location as soon as I get a chance so stay tuned.

Ms Birch x

Hello Luvlies,

If you have been pondering on anal play but aren’t sure what it’s all about this has been written for you.  There may even be a few titbits for gents who have already experienced anal.

I’ve included a few points worth considering before requesting this anal.

Expectations

Be realistic about your expectations.  The earth is unlikely to move the first time you try anal play although it’s not totally out of the question.  Your body needs to become accustomed to the sensation of being entered when the muscles in this area are designed to expel.  Sometimes it can take several sessions of including anal play for you to be comfortable with the sensations before you start to enjoy it.

From time to time I am approached by an overexcited puppy who requests that I take them with the biggest strap-on I have.  When I ask, “when did you last experience a strap-on?” I get a “never I’m new to this”.  I will leave you to take a wild guess as to whether they get any further than that…

If you can relax and are comfortable with the sensation it can be extremely pleasurable and in some cases, mind blowing leaving you in a haze with wobbly legs lol.

Everyone is different so not everyone will enjoy anal play despite what the world of porn would have you believe.  You will never know if you will or won’t until you have tried.

Another thing the world of porn forgets to tell you is that you need to prepare properly for anal.

Preparation

That brings me nicely onto anal prep.  No, it simply isn’t a matter of washing your arse in the shower!  Although I would expect you to properly wash your anus as a matter of course.  A wipe does NOT get rid of pungent aromas.  Separate those butt cheeks and properly wash the whole area with lots of soap and water.  I know lots of you have never done this, you need to start as this is REALLY the minimum expectation and anything less doesn’t hack it.

I digress, back to anal prep.  This involves popping in a suppository and waiting for it to work to ensure your anal cavity is emptied.  Obviously, checking you aren’t allergic or have any medical reasons for not doing so.  After you have emptied this needs to be followed by a proper INTERNAL anal douching using the correct equipment.  Only when the water exiting you after the internal anal douche runs clear are you clean enough for anal play.

I’m happy to help you with this when you arrive just let me know in advance.  Don’t try and blag it.  Quite simply, you won’t do it correctly and could injure yourself or make a terrible mess if you don’t know what you are doing.

Keeping  Safe

You are now squeaky clean and we are at the point of the main event:

I’m not saying I’m an expert, but I do operate in a safe and sane manner and have done some serious research in this area to mitigate any problems and give you the best experience that your mind and body will allow you to have.  Yes, mind too.  Your brain is your biggest sexual organ so if you aren’t in the right mindset or set a mental block you are not going to get the most out of our time together.

The key is slowly does it and obviously lots of good quality lube that is designed for the anal area – not an item to penny pinch on.

The skin in that part of your anatomy is extremely delicate so if you experience any pain, you must be honest and let me know.  We can try different angles, different positions, different toys – sizes, material, shapes etc to find what you enjoy but you need to engage in the process too.  I will be wearing gloves and despite all the toys being thoroughly sterilised they are also covered in condoms.

I absolutely cringe when I see advertising “I will take you with the biggest strap-on until you bleed”!  Really what planet are some people on?  Can you imagine that conversation in A&E:

“Now Mr X how did you manage to get that enormous dildo in your rectum?” (snigger, snigger)

“Oh, it’s stuck, is it? (snigger, snigger).

“Ahh, I see you have lost half of your blood supply” (no sniggering at that point).

“Emergency surgery it is then” (roll of eyes).

Don’t our NHS have enough on their plate without stupidity adding to the burden?  That’s before we even go into the fact that toys that are too big can cause problems with your urinary tract.

Still eager to try?  Hopefully.

Pleasure Zone

If you are suited to anal play the pleasures can be phenomenal.  A deep pleasure like no other, physically and mentally.  There are many reasons for seeking anal play:

• Simply touching and stroking your (clean) anus can provide some with great pleasure.
• Enjoy the actual sensation of being opened and filled.
• Enjoy a vibrating toy to be included.
• Prostate massage and the mind blowing orgasm that can create when all the stars line up.
• Enjoy the mind play of being taken anally.
• If you are searching for humiliation from being taken anally there is nothing to match.
• If you wish to embrace your feminine side and feel what it is to be entered.
• Perhaps even a mix of the above.

The above list is not exhaustive.

I hope this helps you decide if anal play is something you would like to experience and perhaps what your expectations are too.

Ms Birch x